Punxsutawney Yoshi

The reason why Yoshi and I took a hiatus last week was because we had a reason to. No, it wasn't because we were slacking or had lost interest or enthusiasm for our Big Ass Blog. I think it's necessary to say so because a friend of ours (mine) who will remain nameless (Gary) expressed skepticism in regards to our blogging stamina. He doesn't think we'll last longer than a month. Well, we are accepting his challenge. But only because it's easier than writing about the Red Sox.

The Red Sox are making it hard to write about the Red Sox. So hard, in fact, that Yoshi was forced to use variables:

Yoshi: Red Sox need to put player x here bc player y is not producing. Team Q looks good. What's up with player T? Do you think c will show-up or will k be back. I miss Manny.

And Yes, Manny is a variable because what if he came back??? I'll leave that to Yoshi because for me, by weeks end, this is what I had surmised:

Greg: Red Sox record on April 19, 2009: 6-6, .500 (http://espn.go.com/mlb/standings/_/date/20090419). April 19, 2010: 4-9, .308. -- Don't panic. It's only a 2.5 game difference.

And Yoshi agreed! Turns out Yoshi was using weapon's grade calculus to determine whether or not we're mathematically eliminated already. Guess what? We're not. Yoshi saw his shadow and ducked back into his hole. You know what that means? Means we have six more months of worthwhile baseball to look forward to.

But it's going to take a little umph! Francona is not one of the people who needs to hear my advice about not panicking. He's cool. Calm. And mellow. And that's exactly what the Red Sox Don't need right now! (That's the part he should hear)

There's got to be somewhere in between panicking and Franconatose. Lester sucked today -- Fracona said he didn't have his best stuff. Cameron let two fly balls fly over his head today (and therefore sucked) -- Fracona said "in his defense..." The only thing in his defense was more Tampa Bay offense. I want Francona to start calling out his players. Make them own the fact that they are sucking right now. Everyone knows he's, like, the most loving coach in Baseball; be the loving Dad who tells you that you sucked... today.

Remember Red Sox, the reason why we're let down by you when you suck is because we're expecting you to be really good. Our expectations are based on statistics. So if you continue to be as bad as you are, you don't just deserve to be in last place, you deserve to be in a Malcom Gladwell book (http://www.gladwell.com/outliers/index.html).